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Hello, you found us, good. Now sit down, make yourself comfy and we will tell you our tale. Now as you can gather we are still on our quest and will come to this page every time we have a bit more to tell or more pictures of our adventure.
No of course we dont expect you to just dangle here waiting for us to return each time, thats why we have the other pages. Play games, download the artwork, scare parents, keep away from small puppies (pesky creatures - oh the trouble wee dangly brother Doug had getting back his leg)
Back to our quest, every now and again we may need help solving the clues. You may even have heard tell of where our mother is, maybe you happened across a pirate sort in the corner shop who mentioned Joli Rouge our sweet mother. (Though between you and me - how mummys name became Jolly Roger from Joli Rouge I will never savvy.)
Anyway, should you meet said pirate, and said pirate is drunk enough to talk yet sober enough to understand, leave a message for us in the book of the dead.
So...Once we left Pere Lachaise, We headed for Spain, looking for the Spanish Main. Yes I know know its in the Caribbean, but remember we had not been out side our crypt for a very very long time, worms to funny things to a dangly skeletons memory. Anyway Dangly Doug thought it might be something to do with those Spanish Horses and their manes. (dont ask - it made sense at the time) NNN
Now our sense of direction is not what you would call keen, and we sort of, kind of, well ok, we got lost,
We thought we were crossing the Spanish Main and really we were crossing the Channel. Well Britain doesn't seem that bad, quite sunny really, we also discovered that lots of the old pirates were from here so maybe it is a good place to start....now where is that coat devil? I think we should head north and see if anyone knows. Oh before We set off, Dangly Doug has had an idea that we should put everything we find out about pirates on here too, so click on the flag when ever you see it and it will take you to the pirate page.
Dangly Doug, being the brains of the outfit, or so he believes, and it would be cruel to taunt him with the truth, suggested that climb a tree to see if we could find a path.
Oh my wee dangly legs what a climb - but I made it to the top and looked around. Far in the distance, on a hill was a large shape - it looked like a giant of some sort
"A what"? shouted Dangly Doug when I told him.
"A Giant, a huge wicker man", I replied - "and there is a little wicker giant on a pole next to him".
We both quivered in the wind - cold, not fear or course, Dangly Skeletons are never afraid - or so we tell our selves, Its perfectly reasonable to get a bit cold in the sunshine sometimes, and rubber skeletons quiver, its in our nature
"Ooo er" I thought to myself, what if Doug wants to go closer to the giant - perhaps even talk to it.
"You know what I think we should do" said Doug.
I nodded my wee dangly head, hoping my thoughts were wrong.
"We should go a bit closer to the Giant" he continued, "perhaps even ask him if he knows of the Coat Devil"
"Ooh Crikey and flipping heckers" I muttered under my breath, "where did he get a back bone from all of a sudden"
I climbed down from the tree and sat down feeling decidedly forlorn.
"Pull yourself together Greebo" nagged Dangly Doug. "What do you think your head elastic is for if not to give you strength to stand when your legs feel all wibbly"
So after one
of Dougs Famous
pep talks
and a couple of sharp hits to the head,
I was convinced to get up on my wee rubber feet and set off to talk to the Wicker Giant
We treked and trudged and fought and argued all the way to Scotland - well it passed the time and we had a bone or two to pick.
Then Dangly Doug started with the jokes, I forgot to tell you didnt I, Doug, tells jokes, all the time, and they are so so bad that if I had ears they would dropped off and ran away screaming by now.
"Greebo?", asked Doug,
"what?" I replied, shuddering because I knew a joke was to follow
"Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?, because he had no body to dance with"
I ignored him and kept dangly trudging up a big hill.
"Greebo?", He continued.
"what?" I growled through gritted teeth.
"How do skeletons call their friends? - on the telebone, what musical instrument do they play? the trom bone! hehehehe!" Doug was chortling to himself and I was getting stompy.STOMP! STAMP! STOMP!
"Greebo?"
"WHAT WHAT WHAT!" I screamed in frustration, dreading the start of another Dangly Doug joke.
Doug pointed ahead, "There's the wicker man and his friend, do you think they would like my jokes?"
"probably" I sighed and headed up to chat to the first wicker giant
We stood at its feet and shouted up
"HALLOOOOOO UP THERE!".
The wicker giant looked down
"Hullo wee dangly cousins, what are you doing here" asked the dangly wicker giant.
So we told him all about our mother, the pirates and the coat devil. The giant listened intently. "Hmm" he mused " I have heard tell of the coat devil, but she definately lives in England, not Scotland, somewhere near Manchester heard, Why dont you ask my dad the Wicker Man, I bet he would know, he knows everything"
"He's over there, the one with the big willow bum", said wicker boy.
"Do you want to come with us?" we asked "or do you enjoy dangling here?"
"WHAT!!! JEEPERS CREEPERS SACRE BLEU WICKER BOY" I said,
"JINGS CRIVVENS HELP MA BOAB" said Dangly Doug.
I looked at him surprised, He shrugged and said "must be the Scottish air".
"Why are they going to burn you" we asked
"well" said wicker boy proudly "its not so much enjoy, as its my job, tonight all these people over there are going to drink beer and burn me up"
"It's the way it has always been - from birth we know our lives will be short and we accept that. It's an honour to be burnt on such a special day." replied the wicker boy enigmatically.
Dangly Doug looked confused - atleast more than he usually did (could have been the use of a word more than four letters.) "What," he asked "a saturday? Except for bad, black and white movies and soap re-runs what's so special about a saturday?"
"Doug," I warned "Saturday must be special to 'them' lets not go dangling on anybody's toes now..."
"But they dont have toes!" Replied Dangly Doug. "Why don't they have toes? Oh, the humanity!"
I'm afraid what I did to him at this point has been struck from the record - parental advisory and all that.
"Ow, my head - oooh it hurts..."
That bit, unfortunately remained - I think you can guess the rest.
Meanwhile...
'They're right' thought the wicker boy to himself 'I can't believe it...all those wicker people, burnt for no reason other than the humans amusement - the animals!'
"Dangly skeletons!" He called to us "You were right - its not a special day, its just a saturday! I need your help, save me and my father before its too late!"
